[ oh. mood. i have just been throwing things into the abyss.
but yay!!
and the thing is— Astarion remembers this. not all of it, naturally. he isn’t gale. he could try to slip into his mind, read his thoughts, but he has memories of that going poorly for him in those early days where everyone was a stranger and he couldn’t trust a one of them.
but he had been there, in that moment. all of them have one glaring difference in what they remember. who had been there at the start, who had collected all of them into that ragtag little group. astarion would say he was. gale and karlach would say differently. but in astarion’s version of events, he had seen elminster and heard this discussion about what forgiveness looked like to a goddess. but he hadn’t had this window into gale’s thoughts on the matter at the time, or how he’d felt afterwards. ]
…
[ “that goddess of yours really is a bitch, isn’t she?” would be correct, and would be a fitting thing to say. but perhaps it wouldn’t be appropriate. ]
I’m not sure I ever want to know the inner workings of the divine’s mind.
[ he’s not so far gone in his own trauma and struggles that he can’t see every thing mystra did here that was designed to hurt. he wonders if mystra was aware of it, or if she was simply too beyond the norm to care. ]
no subject
but yay!!
and the thing is— Astarion remembers this. not all of it, naturally. he isn’t gale. he could try to slip into his mind, read his thoughts, but he has memories of that going poorly for him in those early days where everyone was a stranger and he couldn’t trust a one of them.
but he had been there, in that moment. all of them have one glaring difference in what they remember. who had been there at the start, who had collected all of them into that ragtag little group. astarion would say he was. gale and karlach would say differently. but in astarion’s version of events, he had seen elminster and heard this discussion about what forgiveness looked like to a goddess. but he hadn’t had this window into gale’s thoughts on the matter at the time, or how he’d felt afterwards. ]
…
[ “that goddess of yours really is a bitch, isn’t she?” would be correct, and would be a fitting thing to say. but perhaps it wouldn’t be appropriate. ]
I’m not sure I ever want to know the inner workings of the divine’s mind.
[ he’s not so far gone in his own trauma and struggles that he can’t see every thing mystra did here that was designed to hurt. he wonders if mystra was aware of it, or if she was simply too beyond the norm to care. ]