[ hugging not-on-main. yaaay. his arms freeze for a moment before slipping further around and tightening to fully complete this sad, gay little hug. after a moment, one hand will rise to stroke the back of his head. ]
[ well he will seriously just stay like this for fully ten minutes or as long as astarion will let him. yes he'd seen him wednesday but that was different. ghostly. and sort of weird. this is all physical and a hell of a lot better. ]
You know, it's funny, Karlach is colder, and you're warmer.
[ honestly? that's fine. well maybe not ten minutes, but he can have a couple of minutes of uninterrupted clinging at the very least. it is very different being physical, and not just running through him and being all ghostly. ]
Something for you to get used to. I can't say I mind being warmer.
[ physical affection first, touring the gy second. which is entirely fair, there is so much gy to tour actually. smart move. ]
I do rather, don’t I? Blue’s a good colour on me.
[ he takes a moment to tilt gale’s face carefully to one side and then the other. ] And here’s you, looking rather handsome even after clambering out of the grave.
[ oh. does he want really sappy romantic statements? because this is how he gets really sappy romantic statements. he needs to be sooooo serious for a second here, so he pulls back enough he can reach up to take astarion's hands in his and sort of hold them together. ]
And I was wrong.
[ and he does, actually, look somewhat ashamed. ]
I believe at the time in the week after you died I had convinced myself that the only way to prove how much I cared for you was to be the one to fix all of this by myself, as ridiculous as that is. I was terrified and grieving and it did not serve me well. Being here with you again has chased all of those thoughts away so much more quickly than I thought possible.
This ritual, the scripture, figuring out the pieces and parts of a god, life or death and what side one remains on - it does not matter, compared to being with you. Whatever happens, I would rather face it together.
[ oh help. he’s just getting blindered with this i guess. an unprovoked, out of nowhere, sneak attack. and one that he has to stand here and listen to with his hands captured and no idea what he’s meant to be doing in the face of something so very, very sincere like this.
hreughk. ]
…
[ although ]
That’s what I bloody thought you’d think, you—! [ gale is being so sincere and astarion just hears the big sparkly words “I Was Willing To Throw Myself On A Miserable Pyre To Prove Myself To You And All” and sees red. but he does restrain himself to headbutting gale’s shoulder and no more. ]
…
[ then he sighs. ]
Neither Karlach nor I wanted you stuck on the other side out of a sense of obligation and self-sacrifice. Like you had to be there, you needed to see something through. As much as neither of us planned on leaving you there alone.
It is easier here. And we— I would much rather you were here with us, than facing it all alone. [ he turns his face a little to look at him. ] Although, you had that epiphany all by yourself even if it took a while. You even ended up with a way here that put no onus on anything other than the responsibility everyone has had this whole time. Clever, love.
[ is it them if he doesn’t go from pissy to soft? ]
[ yeah he has a self-sacrifice streak a mile-wide what do you want from him!!! ya done knew this. but letting him put his head down, letting go of his hands to put his arms around his shoulders instead. ]
Well, I would not say Laudna is not a bit upset with me. [ she had monster feelings, but monster feelings are still feelings even if after they become more complicated. ] But I think that can be worked through.
[ this why they wrote loving KYS letters to gale like the world’s worst long distance correspondence. so he didn’t do the self-sacrificial bullshit!!
he huffs and slides his arms around gale’s waist. ]
I imagine she’ll be willing to talk it out with you. Robin was quite apologetic about fishing me. And stabbing me. [ murder things. ]
So long as it does not end with me implanting another terrible cursed magical object within me, then I think I am doing better than my previous attempts!
[ he feels like astarion is more likely to forgive him before he gets to the insane wizard portion of this apology however. ]
[ taking one of astarion's hands again and putting it on his chest, right over where the mark used to be. there's still an outline there, like a faded scar, but none of the bruising or odd magical thrumming. ]
My greatest aspiration now is to see to your happiness. And also I suppose leaving this place alive. But that's a distant second.
[ he nEEDS TO STOP DOING THIS ASTARION HAS A HEART THAT CAN HAVE A HEARTATTACK NOW. aaaaaa. he absently traces the outline of the mark as much as his fingers can with gale still gripping his hand. ]
...
I think the latter is rather important to the former, if you want to be picky. Can't really seek out the meaning of happiness if we're both permanently gone, can we?
[ he laughs at that, because yeah that does feel like a Complete Astarion Plan. No further steps required! he also is so out of practice with this sort of thing he goes definitely red and sort of flustered at being kissed on the neck. ]
Probably will take a bit of doing in the time from now to then, but between you and me I am very done with thinking about how to beat this cult for the moment. At least for tonight at any rate. I did die earlier, and I think I'm owed at least an evening off.
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first things first, pulling him into a very, very tight hug - putting his forehead against his shoulder. ]
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You know, it's funny, Karlach is colder, and you're warmer.
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Something for you to get used to. I can't say I mind being warmer.
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no arguments here. kissing for ten minutes is definitely on the to do list. between kisses, he will take the chance to get one last little quip in: ]
When we're dealing with the more familiar cult, let's not go through this shit again, deal?
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I agree entirely.
[ bringing a hand up to cup his cheek, fond. ]
You look beautiful, you know.
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I do rather, don’t I? Blue’s a good colour on me.
[ he takes a moment to tilt gale’s face carefully to one side and then the other. ] And here’s you, looking rather handsome even after clambering out of the grave.
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[ no one ever said gale wasn't vain? he is pretty vain. ]
... I'm very glad to see you.
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hmmm. he squishes gale’s face slightly between his hands and leans in to give him another kiss. ]
And I, you. I suspect, despite everything, this would not have been your preferred choice though. [ it’s hardly accusing, he just… knows gale. ]
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And I was wrong.
[ and he does, actually, look somewhat ashamed. ]
I believe at the time in the week after you died I had convinced myself that the only way to prove how much I cared for you was to be the one to fix all of this by myself, as ridiculous as that is. I was terrified and grieving and it did not serve me well. Being here with you again has chased all of those thoughts away so much more quickly than I thought possible.
This ritual, the scripture, figuring out the pieces and parts of a god, life or death and what side one remains on - it does not matter, compared to being with you. Whatever happens, I would rather face it together.
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hreughk. ]
…
[ although ]
That’s what I bloody thought you’d think, you—! [ gale is being so sincere and astarion just hears the big sparkly words “I Was Willing To Throw Myself On A Miserable Pyre To Prove Myself To You And All” and sees red. but he does restrain himself to headbutting gale’s shoulder and no more. ]
…
[ then he sighs. ]
Neither Karlach nor I wanted you stuck on the other side out of a sense of obligation and self-sacrifice. Like you had to be there, you needed to see something through. As much as neither of us planned on leaving you there alone.
It is easier here. And we— I would much rather you were here with us, than facing it all alone. [ he turns his face a little to look at him. ] Although, you had that epiphany all by yourself even if it took a while. You even ended up with a way here that put no onus on anything other than the responsibility everyone has had this whole time. Clever, love.
[ is it them if he doesn’t go from pissy to soft? ]
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Well, I would not say Laudna is not a bit upset with me. [ she had monster feelings, but monster feelings are still feelings even if after they become more complicated. ] But I think that can be worked through.
I'm sorry for taking so long.
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he huffs and slides his arms around gale’s waist. ]
I imagine she’ll be willing to talk it out with you. Robin was quite apologetic about fishing me. And stabbing me. [ murder things. ]
I suppose I can be persuaded to forgive you.
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[ kissing him on the temple, content to just stand here and be sappy for a while. ]
Then I will do my upmost to earn that forgiveness.
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[ yeah they can just be all sappy and cozy until astarion gets hives or something. ]
This isn’t a bad start.
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[ he feels like astarion is more likely to forgive him before he gets to the insane wizard portion of this apology however. ]
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This reminds me.
[ pinches his side. ]
Stop fucking with the Karsus texts.
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[ it would be a WASTE otherwise, but he's not trying to ascend to godhood anymore. ]
They're interesting. Besides, you keep reading that terrible cursed necromancy book.
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It'd better stay purely academic. No sudden changes of mind and aspirations to do something with it, even if it's not ascending to godhood.
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[ taking one of astarion's hands again and putting it on his chest, right over where the mark used to be. there's still an outline there, like a faded scar, but none of the bruising or odd magical thrumming. ]
My greatest aspiration now is to see to your happiness. And also I suppose leaving this place alive. But that's a distant second.
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...
I think the latter is rather important to the former, if you want to be picky. Can't really seek out the meaning of happiness if we're both permanently gone, can we?
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[ i mean. it does sort of make the goal aligned anyway. ]
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[ don't die. be happy. smooches his neck. ]
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Probably will take a bit of doing in the time from now to then, but between you and me I am very done with thinking about how to beat this cult for the moment. At least for tonight at any rate. I did die earlier, and I think I'm owed at least an evening off.
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